The End of My Rope

Self-worth self-love. Learning not to stay stuck in places where one cannot flourish. Examining the idea of even wanting to? It's not all sentimental it is all decisions.

Making the executive decision to move with God and His Spirit, His plans, His mercy.

We can find ourselves in situations with ourselves others or even those we would call lost people we want to see get saved. We want Jesus to move in their lives. We want to get deep in prayer about a situation for or about another person.

In context sometimes we do think we are others heroes. We think we are these action figures who can move outside of Gods plan for our lives. Our love or concern sometimes can turn manipulative, selfish, dishonest, disproportionate.

We want to see so and so get saved. But so and so isn't ready for x,y,z reasons. Sometimes we want what we want and when we can catch the silver line. We in our own misplaced love are trying to force God's hand in the lives of others. We come to learn our want is not always the right answer or saving grace we thought it would be or we envisioned. We do not always get our way. Especially in the lives of others.

Or better we think we can sit around and waiting until they get saved. When they finally get saved then my life will now begin. I want it so bad, but maybe they don't. When our loving Heavenly Father tells us to finally move on, alone in our own life. We prayed we petitioned and now we are releasing it to the Lord. We now move on to trusting in the Lords plans for our lives. Picking up our cross and following Jesus.

We can't just sit around waiting. Moving with the Lord where He has provided for us. Maybe the answer is no or maybe God is not using us in this particular situation the way we thought He should. Our motives sometimes are challenged through prayer. It becomes more than a to do list that looks like my grocery list and deeper into the Father's heart for His people.

We can even choose to move outside Gods will in our brokenness like a circus performer. I started to learn His provision is in His plan. My peace is in My plan. We have to trust. We realize that You are always working on it in Your own timing. We embrace His pace instead the pace of the world. My schedule, my work, my hustle, my now.

I nor anybody can rush God to save people apart from God. It is all up to Him. What He wills.

We move into accepting His will and love. Yes, No, later and more.....All the answers we never thought we would hear through prayer because we can only see in part.

I was listening to a song I love that has been a go to. borrowing some lyrics that play out to be felt and very true.

Hanging up ego, Accepting there are souls we cannot save. I can't muscle it. Admitting that I am weak. I am helpless without Jesus leading me guiding me everywhere. That my weakness is not wickedness to say it out loud.

Chest puffed up. I have to confess I am weak but ash and dust. Too tough to lean to blood drunk in a fight for injustice you don't even belong in taking some hard hits. Leaning hard, hands off even when it feels uncomfortable or counter intuitive, painful.

This arguable depends on the eyes. You don't give me more than I can take. Rest assured. My strength is You if I know it is true my posture changes. I realize this has nothing to do with my personification. Not to be my own self-destructive force. My best friend working with not against myself.

Letting go in prayer and beginning the trusting in God part. Maturing past repeating myself I know You heard me You love me.

Given the choice to with my whole heart move with the Lord, no doubting.

We don't have to go through the heart break of separation. I am going to go over here and bless My children and if You want, I guess you could stay there and wait alone, but it will not love you. Not like I can, will and do.

The Kingdom of Heaven never stops it keeps going on forever.

Jesus Christ Forevermore

A Woman close to Him.