A Cry of Desire Enoch Home

I am not sure if any of you have this aching deep inside your heart, maybe you're like me and you have felt this your whole life. Maybe you did not always understand it, but you are very aware of it? I have become aware that I am very peculiar, I had a strong sense of this my whole life. His.... Jesus has always been strongly speaking to me. I have always had this knowing I cannot explain and felt this way my whole entire life deep inside I know Him. I know that Jesus has walked with me my whole life intimately and closely. In so many ways even when my sin brought me into deep darkness. He was always walking with me.

I didn't always understand as I do now and that is not even whole truth because I will never fully get it. I can see it now. I still do not fully understand, and I know I never will. I have always known that this is not my HOME this earth, it is my landing place for a while to do the Fathers will. My mission is my Fathers mission to do His will and get back home. Perhaps stop a little while enjoy the beauty and suffering as well in between. Make my Abba proud and leave His torch for generations to come.

Yes, I am in this world and part of it, but I am not of it. My home is deep in the heavenly realms seated with Jesus Christ. I get homesick every single day; I am serious it is intense. I long to be with you Abba, Jesus, Holy Spirit. My heart has made up it's mind nothing else will do, I feel it so deep in my belly. I do not even really enjoy food anymore; it is tasteless compared to Your presence. I don't mean this in a religious regiment way either, it is the insatiable hunger and desire I have. Very few understand and that is perfectly ok. I don't need to be understood by people as long as Jesus Christ understands me I am good.

I enjoy His creations nature and all the beautiful children, making music with You. Somehow in it though I feel like I am always searching and anticipating You. I need You and want You most desperately, I don't want to miss a moment with You. I just have to have you all of You. I am going be honest Jesus it just has to be this way. You have captured my heart in such a way that I cannot live with part of You. I have to have all of you I want to see to be face to face. Just like you desire all of me. I desire all of You.

You visit me, and when you leave, I am the Shulamite woman seeking your face for days afterward. I know I do not understand what I am asking for my understanding is tiny I am yet a child. Thank you for restoring me, that I have become like a child in many ways.

I love you, Lord! I don't know what else to say. These words do not even fill what I am trying to say It is not about just this feeling it is wholeness the reality of who I am I was made to love you, to worship you. You love me so much.

Our tree is almost in bloom.

I miss you. I feel like a cardinal, or a birdy waiting on a branch for You.

Soon my beloved will come.