Cuddles

(A piece of my life and journal)

Today I was speaking with one of my Aunties. My one Aunt who I admire very much. She has been in some sort of a way a female role model and a blessing to me since my parents died. She embodies generosity like no other, she acts and talks like a real life courageous woman, and she has such a sweet kind spirit. Great love, I hope to be half as generous as she is someday. She is one of those wise women who never give you the answers up front. She leads you to discover them and find them for yourself.

She sent me on a wild goose chase to the public library today. She asked me to look up a book that made her think about life. As I went to the library I was expecting some book by some New York bestseller. As I look up the book with the librarian's help, I am shockingly directed to the children’s section.

My Aunt told me to read the last ten pages of the book. The last ten pages were about a beloved Cat named Dewy whose death inspired so much love and was grieved nationwide. As this cat was remembered and dearly missed by his owner and the community. A beloved friend. The owner spent a long time grieving her now lost bestie.

It illustrated the process of grief so brilliantly, yet so simple. It also illustrated the pain the owner experienced in not wanting to move on and find another pet. Eventually, she did fall in love or chose to love another furry friend similar but not quite. Another cat awaited her.

As I read this book like a child in the library I was dumbfounded in that way you can enjoy. You know that feeling when you just get something.

It taught me how you never know when you're or you will have the unction of the Holy Spirit to fall in love. Not just with a person but with whatever the good Lord is leading you to love. It taught me that even though she lost her "Dewy" her friend, that in divine ordinances she would meet another furry friend whom she could love, and would love her.

My mind went back

It reminded me of my childhood kitten Cuddles and my experience.

I found this book and it was sitting intentionally at the end of the shelf for me in the children's section at the library. I read the last 10 pages and I thought it was great!!! It reminded me of a kitten I had at my aunties long years ago, named cuddles. It was a wild red-haired cat that was born in the shop in one of the cars my Uncle would work on as a hobby.

I remember I always wanted a kitten so bad as a pet. So I chased this kitten for weeks trying to get him to love me. Some days I would get him for just a moment others he would outwit me. (this was probably terrifying to the cat looking back) At times when I would catch him, he would bite and scratch me. I would just keep trying to befriend him.

Eventually, he warmed up to me and I spent a summer just loving him and befriending him. I would run out to see him every morning and feed him. I made him toys and would play with him. I would put him in my doll stroller. Poor Cuddles he was such a good sport. I loved him so much.

One night though my Uncle left the shop door open a crack and cuddles got out during the night and was killed on the lawn. I am not sure if a dog got him or how he died.

I woke up the next morning to go see him like usual, and as I walked down the long driveway to the shop there he was dead on the lawn. I was devastated. My Aunt knew he died and left him there for me to discover. She was not sure how to tell me as she knew I would be heartbroken. so she let me discover his death myself.

I was mortified, and I had a funeral and buried him in a field. I remember grieving him for the rest of the season. There was a part of me that couldn't accept his death at first. Sometimes I would go secretly to where I buried him hoping he would be ok, I hoped he would be standing there alive. My hope was it was a bad dream and by the mercy of God he would come back.

As time went on though I went to visit him less and less. I learned some of the biggest lessons of grief as a child, not just with Cuddles but with many circumstances. I thankful for him and his life and death. As this is long years past and almost long forgotten I am happy to know and remember the great lesson of Cuddles.

Thank you, Jesus, for that story. Thank for bringing it to my remembrance. I have not thought about my dear friend cuddles for years.