From Death to Life- To Die is to Live In Christ

The sure absolute reality of death is a thought I think of one might find this dark. I find it quite practical as we are not guaranteed anything. After going through what I have been through, I do not want to and cannot afford to live any other way but presently and upwardly in the NOW. Towards heaven.

Forever being present, I find no comfort or peace in assuming the blessing of time is always on my side or that I own it. I do not live in a place any longer where this assumption reigns and that anything in this life is guaranteed past this moment.

Nevertheless at this moment, I'm here alive writing in aches of truth hitting my spirit. (please apply a healthy balance, not that this truth bare thought process drives one into becoming morbid or cynical) for me death inspires, for others maybe it depresses.

It is true what Jesus said about us as humans and our companion of worry. How we worry about our tomorrows, about how we worry about the most redundant things. Truly the Holy Spirit has bigger eyes than the mundane of a mortal's limitations and concerns.

The Holy Spirit loves to save souls, the thoughts and ways of God are enormous out of range for our carnal minds.

Death is tied directly to legacy. To be acutely aware of one's sure demise promotes me to think of legacy. To live in a manner that I am passing a torch of Jesus Christ on and to the next generation in some way. To further the Kingdom of Heaven. To know that a blessing will be passed along and that all attached to me will carry the legacy on to do the work of my Heavenly Father commissioned for me to start and carry through.

I have planned, strived, made color-coded spreadsheets, to feel like I had some sense of control over "my" purpose, "my" life. Turns out that was a lie, and I figured out "my" plans usually don't work out, and only Gods plans do.

I truly thank God for that though, at times it hurts but, in the end, it is always what is best for me and the Kingdom of Heaven.

In all my desperate attempts to seek ways to find fulfillment in the time I so ignorantly calculated I have left here on earth. The truth is there is no fulfillment in this world. Outside of Christ is nothing, less than nothing saltwater to a thirsty soul. True contentment is only found in Christ Jesus.

Empty is the accumulation of things material possessions in and of this world. If it is not the Father's will there is no point.

I am so fragile. I mean so fragile. My breath is all mercy. I do not even own a breath. As much as by cultural standards I would appear to be "ok" it's a lie. My strength lies in being and admitting the truth, which is.....

I AM POWERLESS TO 1. SAVE MYSELF 2. SAVE OTHERS

Only the Holy Spirit only Jesus

The truth is we all are going to live somewhere a lot longer than we are here on this earth. Within that knowledge, we are to use this life to build up treasures for our eternal life. Everything on this earth is passing away, including me and you.

How small really is this life compared to eternity? We are one breath away one moment away from meeting our maker. Closer than we know and closer than we think. Why are we all so distracted, Lord? Why can't we see? Give us vision. Help us Lord Jesus. 

We have become accustomed to misusing our own time in ignorance. We use our death as a pathetic excuse to make eternally poor choices, and we spend the rest of the time justifying them. Only because we solely want to live for the lusts of our flesh, all our carnal desires, yet we usually cannot admit it. Repentance, chastisement, correction is not human favorites as we see throughout history. 

The closer I get to Jesus the more truth sinks in and the more I cannot tolerate the lies we are forced to believe about anything, especially in regard to blending into this world.

It has occurred to me and hopefully you too, that I DO NOT BLEND OR MERGE IN! and I am thanking God for that one.

I don't want to be like you or anyone else! (not that you isn't awesome, just you isn't me) What a relief of pressure. I am going to do me in excellence, with the grace of the Holy Spirit. Not exhaust me and waste my time trying to do a 40% version of you poorly. We are not designed to be that way, so each to his own.

I'll enjoy my PB& J, tea, and my strange sense of humor.

We are remarkable in our own ways, and this should be praised not taken out back and punched out of us?

I wish we all could truly celebrate each other and respect the different cups each of us has before us to drink. I used to be so far from the actual truth, and this will never expire until I walk through those pearly gates. I can't think of anything more miserable than spending the rest of the time I have here, doing anything other than the Father's will. 

There is no pleasure or glory in anything else.

It is so true, even on an off day when I'm struggling to keep the faith, and my flesh tries to provoke me to run to something else but God, no point. I would much rather cry with a PB&J in the presence of the LORD. Or go for a hike. There is more pleasure in that on my worst day than lying on a beach somewhere drunk. Trying to convince myself that this is some odd creative interpretation of fun and joy? That is cheap garbage.

I think I have lost my mind, and in a good way. I have become completely irreversibly crazy for Jesus Christ. The best compliment I have got in my life was from a completely crazy person in a crowd of mutually perceived crazy person(s), on a special ops mission, and I did my best to "blend" in. Turns out the Holy Spirit does not blend in. 

This woman was cussing at people and manifested, she stopped and looked at me and said, you make may look like one of us, but you smell different. You are not one of us. I looked at her with the joy of the Lord beaming through my spirit stared right in her eyes and smiled. I was in the Spirit, and the Holy Spirit was just on me that night. She could literally smell Jesus on me. Glory be to God and blessed be the name of the Lord. How amazing is that?

Afterward, I thought she might want to go around with me, nevertheless my weapons are not carnal but mighty in God.

Or another time I walked by to go minister and this very hurt man started yelling "preacher" at me.

If losing my mind means I go out to strange places and share the gospel of Jesus Christ and rain down love on people PRAISE THE LORD! Just like Paul said I account all the things before Christ as nothing compared to this life I now have been blessed with in Jesus Christ. I have completely gone crazy for Jesus Christ. Which is amazing, we have some good times together. We also, to be honest, have some hard times.

I remember some of the days and nights truly living a Matthew 10 disciple kind of life. I am not sure why we think today that the disciples sat in church buildings eating shortbread cookies and pastrami sandwiches? or used pre-service prayer to gossip about the assembly? Mmmm Pastrami! No, wait for the PB&J! I love it. But seriously?

I have seen the supernatural Holy Spirit just manifest. Now looking back at those seemingly impossible situations they are amazing historical stories I laugh about. A real-life with Jesus Christ our story. Which is less about victory and more about not being afraid to fail.

The Holy Spirit has taught me and exposed some not so cute, and some pretty interesting proclivities I never knew I had until walking this out. I mean straight up being led by the Holy Spirit. We all are so bold until we are living on the unction of the Holy Spirit.

I have found myself comforting myself with spoons of peanut butter after restless nights of mustering up the courage to do and say what I was asked to. Or bawling because of some of the places I was asked to go. The pride I had we all are not one better than the other. As much as it has been hard it has also been amazing and has opened my eyes in a way, they never would have been without all the crazy. I am truly alive because the Holy Spirit just blows my mind.

I love this one sister I had in Christ. Good Lord, she truly got me in this season of my life and some whacko crazy moments. Most friends are like hey how are you, how was work? Me and this girl it was hilarious real! We would literally be like yo you get hit with that witchcraft last night? Yo, that one was intense? On it in the name of Jesus Christ.

I will never forget the man who legit threw so much oil on my head it ran from the top of my head into my eyes, it was burning my eyes and the Holy Spirit showed up, and the party got started. I broke out in some warfare tongues. I am just going off and my girls on the floor, I will never forget the look on that man's face when the Holy Spirit came over me. Just stunned and terrified. Bahah! 

After it was all said and done, I casually composed myself looking whacked out completely whacked out oil all over my face crazy hair. But whatever I love Jesus Christ.

Nice to meet you and carry on God is good.

I have completely fallen in love with the Lord Jesus Christ. I used to have one foot in this world and one foot in with Jesus Christ. Let me tell you that the mixture doesn't work! It sucks and you will never experience the fullness of His joy.

(By the way, truth be told there is a real hell with people who wish they had one more chance to know Jesus Christ Satan loves lukewarm "Christians" he doesn't care if you pretend to be a Christian.)

You want to move hell spend time with Jesus and trust me if you are spending time with the real Jesus the Holy Spirit will help you to start walking out your kingdom purpose in the Lord.

Now that makes hell mad! Nothing more fierce than a child of the Most High GOD who knows who they are in Jesus Christ. Hosanna in the highest. A life with Christ is all love and war!! Learning to be a warrior and a servant. To cut off heads of dragons, stomp out serpents, and take them to your tulip fields and dance.

We all can buy into living recklessly, shortchanging ourselves. No one is immune to it at one point we all were including myself a degenerate in some regard. You may think this is the time of your life, your right it is your time to spend it wisely. Time is short, and it is always time to REPENT!

I think the greatest sermon anyone can ever hear is simple. REPENT the Kingdom of heaven is near!

If you are still alive know it is because of His great love and mercy for you, and it is a pretty good indication you got a purpose to fulfill. I am so thankful for the mercy of Jesus Christ. Now is the time the hour is here, I always used to think what was around the bend was always going to be somehow better than what was present. In that thinking, it only made me a complacent fool.

Wasting my time. You want to really tug on the Lord's heartstrings, give Him your time! The first fruits of it, more important than 10% out of a cheque book with no intimacy with the Lord. It is a lie an assumption that everything lasts forever. Guess what it doesn't.

Maybe you have been fortunate enough to already have had that one or maybe two times an experience when the footsteps came knocking and you were never the same again.

I lived a large period where I was never present. I was always living in some fantasy world of ignorance thinking I was in control. Like I was a superhero who wrote my own script.

As much as I grabbed at lustful power and thinking I was in control the more I became lifeless, just empty. Truly, exhausted in spirit and truth, like King Solomon wise words illustrate a literal chasing of the wind.

My hope for us all is that we do lose our minds for Jesus Christ and get to the point of radical resurrection love. The Acts church. We have the courage to chalking up the gospel of Jesus Christ to being a good person, paying our bills, depositing money into savings accounts, being a master puppet in someone else's play.

That the Lord draws us into His greatness. Maybe you need to return to your first love. I don't know but sometimes these things are not bad when your world as you know it falls to ruins. Sometimes it is an extension of the Father's love for you, your soul.

Let a drawing take place a genuine hunger for the things of God. Let us be wells and have fruit. Real fruit which is the fruit of the Holy Spirit, not the fruit of this world and resume of this world boat, car, house, girlfriend. I laugh when people say you will know the tree by its fruit, but they are examining worldly comforts. No, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. HOLY SPIRIT!

I am not even sure what I am trying to say other than the Lord loves you and wants us all to die so we can truly begin to live. I am not going to further go into explaining as certain things you need to experience for yourself.

No human carnal sense can describe it. Spiritual things cannot be discerned with the natural mind, so don't try.

Time used to torment me because I had no clue what to actually use it for? beside meaningless pleasure pursuits. Occupying time and space aimlessly for ourselves. One day my eyes were opened, and I could see through what was hidden. I was terribly grieved.

How come nobody wants to tell the truth anymore? Why are we all walking around trying to cover and pretend we are perfect with no problems? Why are we all secretly dying inside? I mean I used to live like this.

Walking around like time was never going to run out. I abused it like it was some imaginary bank account that would always be full. Who cares right I will do it tomorrow attitude? Instead of confronting the truth about myself and my sin I chose dirt.

To lie to myself and for what? I gained nothing.

Jesus showed up and saved my life. Again. Every time. Not just one time.

Jesus and I have an intense relationship. This is no joke; a real crazy superhero doesn't mess with my Lois Lane kind of relationship to put in world terms for your understanding. So many sides of His glory.

I decided to give my life to Jesus Christ. I confessed my sins and confessed Him as Lord and Saviour over my life. I refuse to waste another moment of life withholding my true self in Christ. Or listening to a bunch of people tell me they are my bridge between knowing the Holy Spirit. Know the Lord for yourself, even if you stumble 100 times. It is the best investment you could ever possibly make. No pastor is your Holy Spirit.

Wanda-Ann is dead it is now Christ who lives in me. I am all in. No backsliding one foot in the world going all in. I am His.

I did not make a commitment to do church (however church is important real churches) Keep that.

Wow! let me tell you Jesus thoughts and plans are much higher than any of us could ever think of or imagine. That is so real.

Billy Graham said this maybe not precisely in these words. He said, "when you’re fully ready to die then you are truly ready to live." Makes no sense at first glance, and never did to me before. Until I went deep with Jesus. Dying of self. Killing our flesh and saying yes to the Holy Spirit. Saying yes with our lives not just our lips.

When you know Jesus and I mean really know Him embracing death and the reality of it, it adds joy in an odd sense. I cannot really describe it. For me, it is because I know so deep in myself that Jesus is my home.

Yes, I will take account for my life and that makes me have a dry throat and tremble. Death when we know our purpose becomes beautiful. Knowing Jesus and knowing I will come to a determined end, in no way creates a desire to live like a heathen, it melts me like when I was a kid.

When I am in the word reading his discipline sometimes, I can't stop laughing. It is so precise and fitting to each circumstance. Even Gods discipline is creative! Unique to each person.

Struggles do not change or indicate Gods presence and love for you. Dealing with the old man and sin is hard. But God! It is not impossible with God, with man yes, it is impossible, but not with God. Our Heavenly Father is awesome.

Abba, Jesus, Holy Spirit

Lord, please hold us so we never give up on you Father. Endow us with the power of willingly surrendering ourselves to you. Some days it might be every 60 seconds of pushing through moments and being checked in our spirits Give us all the strength to do what we got to do to keep ourselves in the love of Jesus.

The only person who can rob us of Gods purpose in our lives turns out to be us. Sure, we may be separated from every single person and thing we thought we knew. The separation and mark of love, precious and vital. Father, just thank you for making me crazy for you.

I was ready to die in the old man, but what I was really saying to myself is that I was ready to live in the light of you Jesus.

Thank you for bringing me to the foot of the cross. I thank you for your mercy and grace that you have shown me all my days. Forgive me for taking the life you blessed me with for granted. Let me look to your love for strength and truth always. Fill me with such a love that it transfers into every part of my being and others. Use me for Your will. I surrender every part of myself to You, Jesus. Thank you for moving mountains to get to me. Thank for taking me out of Babylon and placing me back in your will. You leave the 99 for 1.

I pray that those facing these moments of Your calling, I pray that you would turn their hearts to you and make the best decision and accept the salvation you freely give to all those who seek it. Teach us mercy, humility, and compassion for the lost. You really are my hero. Sometimes I think this time I'm crashing but you are always on time.

When I feel like I am falling and sometimes you do let me get too close in that danger zone, but you come right in. You say that one is mine. Thank you for your faithfulness. Forgive us for our unfaithfulness. Thank you for not giving us what we deserve. Pull out what you placed on the inside of all of us. What you placed not the manifestation of our own ideas about our lives. Bless those who struggle as I do.

Continue to teach me your ways for your ways are higher than mine. That your wisdom, not human wisdom gives life. I pray your perfect love cast out all types of fear. Continue to shine your light in all the darkness and give me faith and hope to walk through darkness even when I cannot see what lies ahead. I thank you and praise you. To your Glory and Honor.

In the name of Jesus the KING of KINGS & LORD of LORDS

Jesus Christ

As it is in heaven, Not my will but Your will be done.

~A woman tried by death