God Loves Misfits

I have been reflecting on one of the most unconventional healing experiences ever imparted on my heart as a child. The Holy Spirit has brought this to my remembrance in due season. I am just in awe of Gods wonder His goodness. He is so good to us. Regardless of if we perceive it or understand it He is always present and ever orchestrating the winds of my life. I can see His grace, mercy, and love in so many ways.

I can feel the love of God tonight.

Once upon a time, I was a very wounded and hurt little girl. A misfit I lost all my family and all those close to me. Everyone was a stranger to me as a little girl I traveled into the unknown a long way from my natural environment. A long ways away from all that forever changed my life. I was already on a journey far away from everything that reminded me of home, and all things familiar to me.

On this mysterious silent journey, I was eventually rooted somewhere far away from civilization as I knew it, I was in the middle of nowhere. You could see the land for miles. You barely saw any people but the occasional white person. It was a very still silent place polar opposite of what I was accustomed to.

On this quaint farm in the middle of nowhere, it housed many odd sorts of exotic animals and me being another one of them. I never really knew people farmed exotic animals? Indeed, until I ended up living on one. I thought only in the zoos in the city this was real. A portion of my childhood I grew up with lions, exotic birds, reptiles, kangaroos, horses, cattle, lamas, sheep, and goats. You name it we had it.

It sort of reminds me of David when he was young in some strange way.

On this farm lived a young horse who I naturally wanted to befriend. The horse was not like the others, it too was of odd sorts compared to the herd of horses. The horse had odd markings in color and not as built. Often the horse was left out in the herd all the other horses pushed passed her she was too kind and patient, yet wild and interesting. Like she was made for a little girl, and not for an adult. She was sweet and quirky, and the other horses were brash and dominating.

That was it. I studied her and made up my mind that I would become a horsemen and this horse would be my very good friend. I did not ask I just made up my mind. Regardless if the horse knew it yet, I was determined.

The horse was not well accustomed to human beings yet, it still had some wild in her. The horse and I were about the same age in the animal to human ratio. It was perfect.

That was it, so I made my way every day patiently seeking favor with this unique horse. Handfuls of grain, taking apples from the house and bringing them to her. Leading her into pastures to much sweeter grades of grass. I am pretty sure eventually the other horses despised her because she became the apple of my eye.

Every day l waited silently with offerings of peace and friendship. Some days she would not even acknowledge me and other days the horse would just study me, size me up.

I made my presence known as much as possible but barely speaking just being around. I did not use my voice at all at first.

Eventually, the horse approved of my persistent presence, and we did become acquainted. I found comfort in this large animal, comfort I did not find in human beings. I spent summers laying in the hay feeder talking and pouring my heart out to this horse. We were growing together. I would even run away and bury myself in her hay feeder if I was in trouble. Hide in her shadow.

We played together in the fields mostly because I was a silly girl and did not understand that real horses are not my little ponies, and don't play tag or hide and go seek!!! The horse grew big and I became too small. The horse was growing faster and stronger than I. I could feel her power in ways I could not before, the obvious began to surface.

Our relationship grew to a new level, a new dynamic to us both. It was time for the human and horse tradition to commence, for the horse to be trained broken into the saddle and ride ready. Both of us were green and not exactly excited about this new transition.

I always dreamed of riding but unhindered wild natural just bareback like the Indians in the movies, blazing past the deer. To the point that I actually did attempt this. To make a long story short I ended up in a manure pile! Not so epic ending.

I spent months grooming, lunging, putting on the tack, and teaching the horse how to move with me. I remember the first time I felt the weight of my legs in the leather stirrups as the leather creaked against my legs and my heart pounced, uncertain. I sat myself up straight reins ready in hand totally unsure of how she was going to react to this brand new feeling of the weight of me on her back. I was determined and yet terrified of her response to this, but it did not stop me.

I could only hope our bond would override any fear she may have. That our bond would keep me in her good graces as we learned the ropes of being a team of now horseback.

So that summer we learned a lot together riding all over the place. We became very familiar to each other; I spent more time with this horse than anyone else even if I was not riding, I was sitting with her talking to her. I was now growing up catching up to her in many ways. I started to develop different interests.

One ordinary day like any other we were riding and going for a good lope on our way back to the farm up the old tractor path. Suddenly something in the grass that I did not see spotted and terrified her. We had never been in any real danger before. She instinctually burst forth faster to get us away. I remember the sudden jolt and intensity of power I felt from her, a side of her I have never experienced before of all our days together. Mutually a terror was felt in both our hearts. The saddle once fasten tight loosened by this outburst and starting to slip to one side, as she burst on. I knew I was in serious danger but everything was happening too fast. I was not sure if she had been injured or what was going on.

The next thing I know I am flying through the air at a turbulent speed upside down my body doing a cartwheel it never has done before and my head hit the ground first.

I hit the ground so hard that my riding boot (and those boots are laced up tight,) one ended up about 10 feet ahead of where I crash landed. I am not sure how long I was on the ground I looked up and I saw the nose of my horse. She was making a strange sound I had never heard her make before. She was snorting over top of me at me. She knew I was hurt animals are not stupid and she did not leave me. I do not remember this but apparently, my horsemanship kicked in and I got up staggered to my boot and insisted I get back on. A farmer who saw me tumble through the air was mortified in shock and watched me ride away in the wrong direction.

The fact I had a concussion must have taken hold on this ride because it was all a blur. Somehow my horse knew the way back home and stood in front of the house with me on her back out of it, pretty much tko. It was revealed I was in a terrible accident, and I was taken to safety.

A couple of days later I tracked back to the sight of the accident I could see the mud dug all up where all the chaos broke out on the ground. I was filled with thankfulness that this horse blessed animal took care of me when I was the one supposed to take care of her. Animals do genuinely love.

At one point I too would get to return this divine blessing back to my faithful friend.

What I am trying to get at is, we all have those moments in our life when we realize that we are really loved. For me, I realized that this horse really loved me in the midst of the chaos she did not self-preserve and leave me behind she chose to protect me. Even with her big powerful body, she did everything she could not to fall on me and crush me, or harm me in any way. She instinctual protected me when I was unable to protect myself. She led me back home. Maybe I was banged up but like a good solider I was home.

We all have these moments with God sometimes we become so familiar. We become ignorant of the depth of His love for us. Then something we do not predict happens just breaks out of nowhere and God comes and snatches us up from danger in such a powerful way. Sometimes the force of the snatch leaves us speechless because like a whirlwind it destroys everything but us. However, we are comforted because we know that snatch was for our own good and protection. When God shows Himself to us a mighty man of valor, I don't know about you all but for me, I just receive it shut up straighten up my mudded shirt and ask Him if he like a glass of water. No questions asked.

The best way I can describe this side of the LORD is I guess in carnal terms and in no way a comparison of His love or power. It is almost like the first time a woman may realize a man truly cares about her outside all that cultural fog. I can't speak for a man's experience. As a woman though the first time when a man chooses to extend God honor and protection to her. This can happen any time, it isn't planned or rehearsed in real life, it is a pure manifestation of a mighty man of valor's instincts, and his nature just kicks in.

Things happen mistakes, accidents, life. It could be all sorts of odd situations when a man stiffs his neck out to protect a woman in some subtle unseen way. He may grab her hand firmly preventing an oncoming tripping hazard she isn't aware of or makes himself a barrier between her and danger. A time when the power and nature of a man is revealed to a woman, a distinctive moment of our differences in nature. He offers her protection and safety, something we as woman actually do need from first God and from good God fearing men in our lives. When we can breathe a little lighter knowing we have some muscle in our courts.

God does that for all of us each and every day. I did not know how powerful the bond was with that horse. I had no idea until this terrible accident happened. Our bond manifested and revealed something about both of us. We had never been in danger together before. How beautiful it is, and glory be to God that an animal knew just what I needed when I did not. God is amazing.

I thought I would be the one always protecting the horse and it turns out she protected me. But God.

Father in the name of Jesus,

I just want to glorify you right now for your goodness and mercy. I want to thank you for bringing this to my remembrance today Holy Spirit and teaching me something about you. Father, I pray that you continue to give me deeper revelations of your love and fill us all with the fullness of God. We want to know of your love that surpasses all understanding. We want to drink deep tonight; I am hungry for the course of the LORD. Father may we look back and be forever thankful for all the ways you teach us, and even in unconventional ways. Let your glory be known tonight on earth as it is in heaven over all my brothers and sister all over the world, blessings be upon them. I pray for all the little children all over the world may they sleep in peace and love. Continue to soften our hearts to you and overwhelm us with your goodness. I decree and declare we will see the goodness of God in the land of the living. I bless you, my King.

In the name of the KING of KINGS and LORD of LORDS

Jesus Christ

Forever you will reign all for your glory

On earth, as it is in heaven

Amen & Amen

~A woman who finds herself thankful in your arms Lord