My Crown

I woke up today and through much wrestling with myself and dark strangers. I realized I am a very blessed woman. To some, on the surface it seems like something else. I do not think many know what blessing really is.

I have a crown and was given. A crown that does not perish. Sometimes it shines brighter than I think it does. I get lost in the fact that it does not perish like many things around me. I am blessed. I move around it. I remember before this was alive to me. Now it is more real than anything I know.

You sit with me and laugh at me a little bit. You love me dearly. You allow me to wrestle and move with You. You give me breath You are my breath. In this all You are showing me how strong I am, how strong You made me.

That strength You are not afraid of and does not need to be tamed. You have blessed the work of my hands. You embrace it, You use it to get glory out of it. You gave it to me. I am a woman. This is us.

They try to define us and pair us with stupid things that do not fit, things that do not profit. They want us to wear so many ugly things that just do not fit. It would make them more comfortable, so they think. I refuse and they grumble. I do not care and either do You. We continue.

Your yes is good, but your no is better.

I am little Yet not so. These BIG things everyone wants, you see. I stand in Your shadow.

I remember I heard a line about You once and it was something like, " I will take Your stuff, but You can die." I know it's true the blackness of heart. You have taught me though to not be ashamed. You have taught me to love freely. To never be ashamed of You and Your love for me.

The good and the bad through it You have shown me first what it means to love something deeply, something so large that I do not fully understand. How to actually love and it is no romantic notion. Far from it. This is true. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You show me this. You never leave my side You are so faithful. You chose me. I sit in and live in Your glory.

Such a crown to cast before you one day. It fits no one else. Nor should it. It's a crown. And as I sit You are whispering to me so confidently this is who You are, just like that. It all came and stays together. Just like you hung the sun, the moon and the stars. You create and you finish. You promise.

A moment a miracle. Time and times. A position.

They seek to harm us because they are envious of us. It enrages many in the world that You have chosen me and that You love me dearly. I am loved and many hate it. One of the very oxymorons I experience. I am told I am not special even though I know it is a lie. We are quite an item. Scandalous. Many lusts over us and it is a disturbing thing.

You fought and fight for me. I desire to fight for You. I say terrible things about awful people sometimes. I mean it too! Not such an ugly thorn in my flesh. I love You!

Remember the chess board. Many plots against You, not the wise. You will be found out. I know this is very true. Excuse me.

It is a sort of a funny thing.

You see this earth and everything in it. I am sharing it with You, Yes! YOU! We walk along.

I mutter things to you, and you patiently point. We have a ton of conversations, and You sit with me. You listen eagerly waiting for my next breath. We fight I break You win. I know I am a shadow of something very small to You. I can feel it sometimes and it makes me feel strange. You push me through it. It actually is true in my weakness Your strength is made perfect. I am the clumsy one of us two! I drop things push and pull.

My hair is frizzy, and some days and we both know it. I get annoyed with the devil as do You. He is always watching us. You are wonder and everything.

This is ours and I am Yours.

Jesus Christ Forevermore